Thank you Tumblr for always being there. You really saved me from myself. <3
I am exhausted of change. That’s all that ever seems to happen nowadays. Time passes by and people transform into the monsters they’ve swore they would never become. It’s quite ironic considering that they aren’t aware of it. Even when someone attempts to tell them and points it out, they aren’t able to notice the changes they’ve made or the good friends that they’ve lost, due to their massive ignorance. Everyone just becomes completely different people and I’m so tired of putting up with it. I’m fed up of always trying to make an effort to hang out and rekindle old friendships. And even when my efforts are successful and we do manage to hang out that one day, it just seems so awkward and weird. I don’t feel like I’m with the same person anymore. I feel like I’m meeting someone new and there is no topic of conversation. It’s depressing to know that this certain person meant so much to you at one point. It’s sorrowful knowing that you trusted this person with everything. Letting go is a part of life as is change. And I now know that in order to succeed in life and be happy I have to learn to do both. So from this day forth, I’m done. With everything and everyone. Just because your name has stayed the same and you look somewhat similar, doesn’t mean you are the same person. This is my goodbye letter to all the people I’ve lost. This is the closure I’ve needed. Best wishes in your future.
Please leave me alone for good. I want nothing to do with you. Good fucking bye.
We grew up together in one neighborhood. Knowing each other since first grade up throughout middle school till high school. It’s insane how we can be acquainted with a person for ten years or more and not really know anything about them. Our conversations are empty. Everyone branches off into their own cliques and then people gradually disappear from your life. It’s sad because we, as human beings, have a billion things in common. We can relate to and symphasize with our peers. We just choose not to. We don’t put the effort in to ask questions and find out. We constantly take the easy way out and just act fake in public with are false hello’s and stupid kisses on the cheek. If we took the time out and tried, it’s amazing the people we could befriend.
Boom. Everything just slaps you in the face all at once. Everything you see and hear, you automatically relate to yourself uncovering all sorts of repressed feelings. Regret, failure, insecurity, love, pain. You end up being upset and crying over the stupidest shit in the world. Shit that should play no meaning in your life. Then you remind yourself all the bad things that ever happened to you. The put-downs, the rejections, making you feel even worse. Now an innocent sob turns into an uncontrollable flood. And no one is there to help you through it. That is the definition of sad. Hey, welcome to my life.
So, I’m going to attempt my diet. Finally ! Gym tomorrow and yogurt for breakfast. WOO HOOO. Summer’s actually not that bad now that my house is completee. I lovee having friends overr. WOOT. <3
Well that was fast, I’m pretty much over it. On to the next one. (:
I can’t stop smiling. This is one of the best feelings I’ve experienced in a while. I’m all giddy and excited. I just start randomly cracking up and the only pain I feel right now is the fact that my cheeks hurt. It really doesn’t take much for me to undergo such happiness. Just a boy with a sense of humor and charm that expresses some sort of interest in me. Wow, I’m pathetic, but at the time being I could care less because I’m finally happy. WOOOO !